Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Boy or Girl?

We went in for a check-up today but no amnio yet or ultrasound. Hopefully in a few weeks we will know if it's a boy or a girl. We will also know if he or she will be a card-carrying member of the ARC . Not that there's anything wrong with that! I just want to know ahead of time. :o)

So, what do you think:
for a boy: Kelikoa'elakauaikekai (rain sparkling on the sea)
for a girl: Uakinimakalehua (rain of countless lehua blossom faces)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

mmm hmm... Can I get an Amen?

I was thinking/praying for a friend half-asleep or maybe mostly asleep
when I found myself
in a black gospel choir
Now, I've heard of speaking in tongues
but this,
this was something else altogether:

"My sista needs help!"
"mmm hmm"
"Can I get an amen?"
"Yes, God, I know you can help her!"
"Hallelujah! Amen!"
"She needs a job real bad, God!"
echo: "She needs a job real bad,God."
"I know that you can hear me, God!"
"Yes, we know that You can hear us, God!"
"You're the God of miracles and we're asking for your help."
"Amen! Hal-le-lu-jah, Jesus!"

It was beautiful

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Guess It All Depends...

We went to the doc last month for our first pregnancy check-up.

The doc asked if I wanted to have an amniocentesis performed because of my age. Because, she pointed out, "you will be 38 when the baby is born." At least she didn't say, "because of your advanced age," like my friend's doctor said to her.

I will probably get the amnio because I would rather be prepared than stunned, if there is something that I would have rather known ahead of time.

The whole thing cracked me up though. I guess 38 is pretty old.
"Now, going to the movies, that'll be economical: one child, two seniors, thanks." -George Banks (Father of the Bride II)

Do I want an amnio?

I dunno, do I also get a free pack of adult diapers when the baby is born in the likely event that I will crap my pants due to my advanced age?

That's really not a bad idea; a lot of women have that problem.

I think I will put those on the baby registry. Does Target carry those? Maybe someone will make me a diaper cake made of Depends cause I already have cloth diapers for the kid.

Born Again Vegan?

It's back to the plant-based diet for me.... and the fam. Well, so the man of the house won't be entirely converted but he will eat plant-based stuff at home. At least he's willing to do that! Which is doing a lot, I think! I secretly hope that he isn't out there gorging on giant platters of meat topped with cheese when I'm not around. He's the type who orders a double-stuffed burger... "Oh and can I get a salad instead of fries, with the dressing on the side?" Yes, I have seen him do this. It's quite comical. After I told him that fries were the devil (because of the carcinogens in deep fried foods) he quit ordering them.

"Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants." - Maria Portokalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

Don't doubt it; I have influence.

I've decided that I'm not gonna call myself a Vegan anymore though. Maybe a Plantasaurous? Calling yourself a Vegan is like calling yourself a Christian - you might as well just tack a "wacko" sign to your forehead! How about Jesus-Follower/Plantasaurous? See, I'm not a crazy animal rights activist like those vegans are - you know: those who secretly think humans should be banned from the earth so that the nice animals can take over. Let's not eat any of the sweet cuddly animals, let's just let them overpopulate the earth and eat us. Makes sense, right?

After reading the book, The China Study, a person would have to be obtuse not to change their diet.... unless he, or she, actually likes cancer, obesity, heart problems, diabetes, adult diapers - to name a few. Yeah, it's tough to ditch the John Wayne stereotype that meat and potatoes make you a healthy red-blooded American but egads... all this food hasn't improved the health of anyone. People are still dropping like flies out there or devouring mounds of cash for all the medical procedures necessary to maintain their life forces. Some people would rather pop pills or get cut open than change their diet. We in America tend to get diseases that are known as "diseases of affluence". What does that tell you? I had a Japanese roommate who put on at least 15 lbs. within 6 months of moving to the US because she started eating the American college kid diet: hamburgers & pizza.

Yes, I do sound like a zealot for health because I am. And, NO I don't want to change your diaper when you have a stroke. Change your dang diet. Really, if you are a big fat hippo don't be knockin' on my door asking for cash to fund your freakin' gastric bypass surgery.
Oh, do you want fries with that?

I'm not saying that I want to live forever but I do want the quality of my life in later years to be high. Of course, many people equate eating whatever they want to quality of life. All I'm saying is that I ain't changing those peeps poopy pants when that plan doesn't work out. Hope they buy a case of diaper rash ointment or get a colostomy bag. Better yet, I will offer to drop them off in the wilds of Idaho where I hear there is a thriving wolf population. "Nice doggie. Now doggie,down, doggie! Please don't eat me. HELP! AAAAAAAAAH!" crunch, crunch, rip, rip, growl

Seriously, at least check out The China Study website even if you don't read the book. It's fascinating research! Maybe you will at least consider eating more plants. Unless you're a fruitarian.
"Gosh, poor carrots!" (Notting Hill)