Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Born Again Vegan?

It's back to the plant-based diet for me.... and the fam. Well, so the man of the house won't be entirely converted but he will eat plant-based stuff at home. At least he's willing to do that! Which is doing a lot, I think! I secretly hope that he isn't out there gorging on giant platters of meat topped with cheese when I'm not around. He's the type who orders a double-stuffed burger... "Oh and can I get a salad instead of fries, with the dressing on the side?" Yes, I have seen him do this. It's quite comical. After I told him that fries were the devil (because of the carcinogens in deep fried foods) he quit ordering them.

"Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants." - Maria Portokalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding)

Don't doubt it; I have influence.

I've decided that I'm not gonna call myself a Vegan anymore though. Maybe a Plantasaurous? Calling yourself a Vegan is like calling yourself a Christian - you might as well just tack a "wacko" sign to your forehead! How about Jesus-Follower/Plantasaurous? See, I'm not a crazy animal rights activist like those vegans are - you know: those who secretly think humans should be banned from the earth so that the nice animals can take over. Let's not eat any of the sweet cuddly animals, let's just let them overpopulate the earth and eat us. Makes sense, right?

After reading the book, The China Study, a person would have to be obtuse not to change their diet.... unless he, or she, actually likes cancer, obesity, heart problems, diabetes, adult diapers - to name a few. Yeah, it's tough to ditch the John Wayne stereotype that meat and potatoes make you a healthy red-blooded American but egads... all this food hasn't improved the health of anyone. People are still dropping like flies out there or devouring mounds of cash for all the medical procedures necessary to maintain their life forces. Some people would rather pop pills or get cut open than change their diet. We in America tend to get diseases that are known as "diseases of affluence". What does that tell you? I had a Japanese roommate who put on at least 15 lbs. within 6 months of moving to the US because she started eating the American college kid diet: hamburgers & pizza.

Yes, I do sound like a zealot for health because I am. And, NO I don't want to change your diaper when you have a stroke. Change your dang diet. Really, if you are a big fat hippo don't be knockin' on my door asking for cash to fund your freakin' gastric bypass surgery.
Oh, do you want fries with that?

I'm not saying that I want to live forever but I do want the quality of my life in later years to be high. Of course, many people equate eating whatever they want to quality of life. All I'm saying is that I ain't changing those peeps poopy pants when that plan doesn't work out. Hope they buy a case of diaper rash ointment or get a colostomy bag. Better yet, I will offer to drop them off in the wilds of Idaho where I hear there is a thriving wolf population. "Nice doggie. Now doggie,down, doggie! Please don't eat me. HELP! AAAAAAAAAH!" crunch, crunch, rip, rip, growl

Seriously, at least check out The China Study website even if you don't read the book. It's fascinating research! Maybe you will at least consider eating more plants. Unless you're a fruitarian.
"Gosh, poor carrots!" (Notting Hill)


Anonymous said...

Can I be a Steakceritops?

C.A. said...

Ha! Ha! S.A. so wishes he was one too, I'm sure. :o)
Dang health nuts.