Oh boy! It's December and time for the annual slide down into holiday insanity. I am one of those geeks who listens to the all-Christmas-music radio station and I have a few tips as to how to make the holiday season better:
No really, I can't even tell you how much better radio would be without these songs:
* Same Old Lang Syne" by: Dan Fogelberg - You know the one:
"Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve..."
In my opinion this song should never be played again. It should be given a closed-casket ceremony and laid to eternal rest.
* Absolutely no Mannheim Steamroller. None. That cheesy synthesizer music belongs in a pink padded cell in the 70's, 80's, 90's and so forth.
* "Where Are You Christmas?" This song is OK when Cindy Lou Who sings it on the Grinch but when that grown lady sings it (you know who you are, Faith Hill) it's like, "SHUT UP and get some freakin' prozac already, woman!!"
* This is more of a personal preference but can we limit the number of Beach Boys tunes that are being played?
* Don't forget about WHAM!: George Michael belting out "Last Christmas I gave her my heart..." Spare us. Keep a blog instead, dude.
No offense Delilah and John Tesh but I'm just gonna have to change the station when that stuff is being played. I can't afford to up the dosage on my meds so turn that racket down!
Love your show!
Delilah, that is.
John, "qwerty tummy?" For reals?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
1. No more handling raw meat! YAY!
2. Losing weight. (so I hear!)
3. It can get your blood sugar levels back to normal and reduce high
cholesterol, to mention a few health benefits.
4. You get to try out a whole bunch of yummy new recipes.
5. You get to use all kinds of weird food items that you've never used before:
kombu, mellow miso paste, kudzu, egg replacer, nori, tempeh, amaranth,
shoyu, mochi, tamari paste... oh boy!
6. You get to eat salad and bread for breakfast when you forget to bring your
own darn food when eating out.
7. People admire your dedication and tenacity (secretly they think you are
8. Did I mention the hummus is homemade? More beans?
9. The rest of your family gets food poisoning from bad burritos and you don't.
(if only you could get off barf clean-up duty!)
10. It's subversive. I'm all about that!