Friday, April 4, 2008

Queen of Refuse

This place is brimming in vomit and other forms of nastiness. The washer has been going for days though I am doubtful of its germ warfare capabilities.
Of course I have the dread illness as does everyone else in the house. It really ticks me off because I still have to drag my sorry carcass around the house cleaning up all the ka-ka. It’s like battling the R.O.U.S.es in the Fire Swamp.

Meanwhile, the other adult in the house gets to go back to work in the outer world where he is expected neither to wipe people’s butts nor clean the privy after they are done using it. All this while I am trying to cram in a self-directed study of Early Childhood Education, Phonics, Classical Education & How to Keep the Home Organized While Teaching at Home. There have been moments when I’ve thought that what I’m doing at home as a mother is not important. (Shame on me!) Now that I am finally beginning to catch my stride I challenge anyone to get their regular job done and manage children at the same time. (Unless they are a teacher) I don’t have a personal assistant. I don’t have a bookkeeper or a management team. I don’t even have a team of volunteers. I do have some help with house cleaning and that was a step in the right direction.

Sometimes you just need an epic tale to lift your spirits and remind you that there are worse things out there than copious amounts of puke and potty chairs filled with stinky goo. There’s no shortage of worse things out there as we all know.

So I am finding inspiration from an old classic: The Princess Bride.

Nestled among its clever script are such gems as:

“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.”

“Get some rest. After all, if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything.”

“So Bow to her… Bow to the queen of slime, the queen of rubbish, the queen of putrescence…”